Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
