remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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