I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
