By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This is my gift to your gina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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