Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
