There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
