I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
