Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
