How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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