i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
