dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
