i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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