there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sex in the backyard? Check.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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