Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think my vagina is haunted
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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