Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
