Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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