why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize