and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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