Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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