PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
