wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
