you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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