You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
