Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
