my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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