First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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