she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize