White coat. Heels.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
