Can Purell be used as lube?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Girls should come with a carfax report
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
