peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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