Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
