He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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