He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The adults are the big ones right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
