i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
