I hate your face
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
