So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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