guys are only as good as the porn they watch
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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