I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
