But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
