Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
