How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
