Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Drake has all the answers
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
