Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
