Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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