i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize