I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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