the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
