If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
