He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
