I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
