Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
