Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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