I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
