It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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