Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize