Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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