Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize