he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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