I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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