my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
