You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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