god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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