I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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