The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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