white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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