Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
