the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
