Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize